So, Stella... my first baby. My first birth. I had no idea. I watched the documentaries on tv. I went to the classes offered by the hospital. I read a lot of books. I went to an OB. Some things I knew, like about episiotomies and that the baby has to turn when she is coming out. Other things I did not know, like just how wide 10 inches is. Or how hard pushing out a first baby is. My doctor wanted to induce me at 39 weeks, which she didn't really share with me until 35 weeks or so. I had had a previous history of high blood pressure, even though all my numbers had been fine since becoming pregnant. But, just to be sure... So I would be getting Pitocin. Doesn't everybody? My OB assured me it was the same stuff my own body makes, so no biggie. Luckily, Baby Stella decided to move things along on her own, and the night before I was supposed to go in for my scheduled induction, my water broke. Yay, Stella!
I should add at this point that this is not a horror story of hospital births. My hospital birth was pretty typical, which is basically my point. I think that some hospital births are needed, while others are not. And most of the time, it should come down to the choice of the mother. Where she is most comfortable giving birth. Because really, it's pretty hard work.
When you take the classes at the hospital, they tell you that as soon as your water breaks, you go directly to the hospital. Do not call, do not consider, just go. It's kind of an emergency. I called anyway, and then I went. I wasn't having any contractions, so I drove myself, and Jason (my husband) and Patty (my sister in law) met me at the hospital. Nothing much was happening, so they gave me Pitocin. No biggie, right???? OMG!!! It was a biggie!!! I went from feeling nothing to feeling like my insides were being run over by a truck! I started shifting around, trying to get comfortable, feeling a lot of pain, when the nurse came in and told me to stop moving so much because it was disrupting the monitor strapped to my belly for baby's heartbeat. Seriously? Stop moving? I didn't know any better. I tried to be still. I had an IV, an external fetal monitor, and a blood pressure cuff that was taking my blood pressure every 15 minutes. I wasn't strapped down, but I was strapped in. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore and asked for the epidural. The anesthesiologist was really good- got it in quickly and accurately. So the pain stopped but then I needed a catheter and an internal baby monitor. Uncomfortable.
Finally it was time to push. I thought it would be a few pushes and the baby would come out. Like on all those shows on tv. Uh, no. I pushed for two hours (or three, I can't remember). So even though I was spared the pain from the contractions, pushing for two hours is no walk in the park. It's hard. I was afraid she wasn't gonna come out. And the epidural slows everything down. I seriously felt like I was running in a marathon. With no food or water, because they won't let you eat or drink anything except ice chips. The people in the room with you can eat, right in front of you, while you writhe on the bed, but not you.
My nurse was great. A petite Indian woman named Cindy. She told me to "get mad!!". That actually helped. She got in there and worked with me. At one point, she said the baby was almost out and called for the doctor. Now, this wasn't my OB. It was another doctor from my OB's practice. In fact, I never saw my OB again. She never came to the hospital (it was yet a third doc who discharged us), and my two follow up appointments were cancelled due to scheduling problems with the staff. Anyway, this doctor who isn't my doctor came in, checked me, and told me "Oh no, you're not even close. You and Cindy still have a lot of work to do." And walked out. Thanks a lot. So more pushing, and finally Baby Stella decided to cooperate and made her appearance. I was shaking so much when she was born, like practically convulsing, that I didn't want to hold her right away. I was afraid I would drop her. So they washed her off and weighed her, then Jason held her, then Patty, and then I finally got to meet her. They piled blankets on me and told me the shaking was due to hormones, and then gave me a few minutes alone with her and sent in a lactation consultant so I could nurse her, which was great. A lot of my memories of this time are blurred. I remember it was hard, and I remember finally nursing her, but the moments when she actually arrived are pretty hazy.
I was fine, baby was fine, the nursing went well (the lactation consultant came back a couple of times to check on us), the food was bad, and at one point they said they couldn't discharge us until the baby's cardiologist checked her out. You know, her cardiologist. From that heart problem she has. No, that doesn't ring a bell? You probably just don't remember being seen by a prenatal cardiologist. You moms are so crazy. Oh wait, we mixed you up with somebody else. Ok, you can go now. And away we went, all three of us!
I decided to try a midwife instead of an OB this time. I contacted a CNM, which is a Certified Nurse Midwife, planning to do things more naturally but still to give birth in a hospital. Everything was going well, except for the finances. We had different insurance this time around, and the costs we were going to have to pay just for the CNM were more than my first birth altogether. At first, I started considering a homebirth to cut the cost. I started doing research on homebirths in general, and found that they are much more common in Europe. I also started researching homebirth in my area and discovered that Las Vegas has a wonderful homebirth, natural baby, crunchy mama community!! So, considering that my first birth had no complications, all my prenatal tests thus far were fine, and I live in an urban area where I can call 911 if something goes wrong, we took the plunge and signed up to give birth at home. Some of my friends were skeptical at first, but I was surprised by the support I got from friends and family. (They may have been gasping at my decision behind my back, but they were sweet enough to keep it to themselves!) I found a wonderful CPM (Certified Professional Midwife), and put my faith in her, in my husband, and in myself. It was a little scary knowing I couldn't call for an epidural if the pain got really bad, but I had no idea what a natural birth felt like. Pitocin makes the contractions longer and stronger, so this time I wanted to see what it really felt like.
This time around, I took Hypnobirthing classes, and made arrangements to have a tub delivered and set up when I went into labor. I didn't quite get to the end of my Hypnobirthing classes before Nora decided it was time. Just like with Stella, my water broke. But this time there was no rush to the hospital. In fact, I got to stay at home for another day or so until contractions began on their own. Around 9:30 at night on the 18th, the contractions began to come every 15 minutes, and I let my midwife know that it was starting. She told me to keep her posted. Jason was already asleep, so I read my John Sandford book sitting on the floor on my knees with my arms and book supported on the bed and timed my contractions with my phone. I moved around. I took a hot shower. I facebooked. The contractions came closer and closer, and I called the "tub lady" and told her to come.
At this point, Jason finally woke up and asked "What did I miss?". Ha Ha! (He's not a good night person, but once he was up, he was all there!) The people delivered the tub and set it up in our bedroom and began filling it. Up until now, I had been getting increasingly uncomfortable, but was not in a large amount of pain. Timing my contractions was a nice distraction and kept me busy. Now, it was getting painful. The contractions were getting close and strong. But, viola! The tub was ready and full of warm water, and as soon as I sunk into the water the pain lessened back to merely uncomfortable. Like taking a hot shower when you have bad cramps. I started listening to my Hypnobirthing tapes and just relaxing, in my own home with my husband. I could drink water or eat if I wanted to. I could get up and use my own bathroom. I could walk around if I wanted to. It was really nice.
The contractions got closer and closer and we finally called the midwife and told her to come. They arrived around 6 am. I texted my dad (my parents had driven up to see us as soon as I told them my water broke) and asked if they could come at 7 to pick up Stella, who was asleep in her bedroom, completely undisturbed by any of this. I relaxed. I concentrated. I floated in the warm water. The midwife and her assistant came and checked the baby's heartbeat. Counted contractions with me. And let me do my work. They were there if I needed them, and checked the baby's heartbeat periodically, but mostly they allowed me to concentrate and work on labor.
At 7 am my parents arrived and Jason went out of the room to talk to them and give instructions for caring for Stella. Then the transition phase started. This is the hardest part, when the baby is actually moving down, ready to come out. It's also the quickest part. This part was tough. I lost my concentration and just surrendered to the pain and sensation of a baby coming out. When Jason came back in the room a few minutes later, the mood of the room had changed distinctly than when he had left! The midwife told me I could push if I felt like I needed to. I was having a hard time getting enough traction to really push, since the water was so buoyant. My midwife massaged my back when the contractions hit, and that counter pressure helped so much. This was the scariest part, because I was feeling out of control. Finally, though I had planned on delivering in the water, I asked if I could get out so I could push hard. My midwife and her assistant said "Absolutely!". They set everything up on the floor and had me out and lying on my back on the floor in minutes. I gave one big push, and Baby Nora's head was out. I kept trying to push, because I wanted her out NOW, but they slowed me down so her body could turn, and then one more push and she was out. 8 am. I was done. They told me to open my eyes so I could meet my baby. She rested on my chest and I held her while they cleaned up a bit. We waited until the cord stopped pulsing to cut the cord, and then she was handed to Jason so he could meet her. They cleaned me up and helped me into my bed, and handed the baby back so I could nurse her right away. This time, no shakes! I remember every minute of it. Finally, after we nursed and snuggled, they weighed and measured her, and then gave her back to me. The tub people came and took down the tub quickly (I don't even remember them) and even did a load of laundry for us. The midwife and her assistant made sure I was ok and baby was ok, and then left us alone to meet each other. After a while, Jason went and got me some Taco Bell :) Later on that day, my parents and Stella came home, and Stella got to hold her baby sister. My midwife called me that night to check on me. She called the next day. She checked on our nursing. She checked my vitals and baby's vitals. I had her cell number in case I needed anything. Everything was fine. I had a wonderful homebirth. Happy Birthday, Nora!
Two different stories. Two wonderful girls. One happy family :)
